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January 26, 2013
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Let's Have A Kiki by EBraunstein Let's Have A Kiki by EBraunstein
On a dreary Saturday night, much like any other on Grave's Island, Uncle Morton returned home from a very busy and exhausting day at work. When he walked in the door, he found Zelda, her friends, and Elliot all lounging on the sofa, looking extremely bored. The house was quiet besides the occasional turning of a page from the magazine Elliot was reading. The phone began to ring around the same time Uncle Mort had gotten to the top of the steps, but of course no one got up to answer it. "HELLO! Thank you for calling Thornewood! But we're in another castle at the moment. Leave a message!" A female voice rang out from the answering machine: "Hey! I'm callin you back! OH! She's been a bitch tonight!" Uncle Morton's eyes widened and his eyebrows rose in a fit of anger. "What's Wendy doin calling the house?!? She went OUT?!? She was supposed to be watching you kids!!! How long's she been gone?!?" Uncle cried out. "Long enough", Zelda replied calmly, not taking any notice of her uncle's fit. His face became bright red, "Elliot, what's she doing out?!?" "How should I know? I'm not her keeper, YOU are." Elliot replied, just as calmly as Zelda had, infuriating Uncle Morton further. "And by bitch, I mean this RAIN! No cabs, no where!" Uncle Morton's face, still bright red with rage, suddenly turned white as a sheet, now more concerned for his daughter's safety than anything, "Where is she that she'd need a CAB?!?" "So I had to get on the wig, the heels, the lashes and the eairh, and take the TRAIN to the club!" Uncle Morton suddenly looked like he was going to faint. "THE TRAIN?!? THE CLUB?!?" he screamed, his booming voice echoing throughout the house. "What's going on?" a young man with dark hair came walking down the staircase slowly, as if he were going to wake up a bear. "Keven!" cried Uncle Mort, grabbing Keven's shoulders and shaking him about in his hysteria, "Do you have any idea what's been going on here tonight?!? What is Wendy doing at a CLUB?!?" "Keven just got home from work a few minutes before you did Uncle Morton, he doesn't know anything about this." Elliot said, still in his calm demeanor. "Then maybe YOU could explain it, Elliot!" Uncle Morton said, letting Keven go and whirling round in his small nephew's direction, "What has been going on? Where's your cousin?!?" Elliot didn't even glance up from his magazine. He'd been in a lot of trouble with his uncle lately, and he didn't want to answer and make things worse for them both. He suddenly blurted out, "Have you checked her bedroom?" Uncle Morton then roared out in exasperation. "I'M NOT GETTIN ANY ANSWERS!!!" "So I hope you're up kids, cause we are ALL comin over!" Wendy's voice said slyly through the answering machine. Uncle Morton ran over to the answering machine and screamed into it "NO YOU ARE NOT! YOU COME HOME NOW, BY YOURSELF!" Her voice went on, "Lock the doors, lower the blinds, fire up the smoke machine, and put on your dancing shoes, cause I know EXACTLY what we need..." Uncle Morton could feel her grinning as she said this, and also felt a certain sense of unease about the situation. He hadn't realized it, but the kids were all very excited by Wendy's announcement of having company after spending a long and drab evening playing board games or reading. They knew where ever Wendy was, IS the place to be! Uncle Morton turned to face the kids: "Absolutely NOT, she is NOT bringing anyone here! You three are going home, Zelda and Elliot are going to bed, and Keven...you do whatever it is you do, but Wendy is NOT, and I repeat NOT---" he was cut off by the sound of the giant oak entry door slamming open. In came Wendy with a long Conga Line of people. They flooded into the house and all movement suddenly ceased.

"Let's have a Kiki!" Wendy said.

Fast as lightning, the group of kids grabbed Uncle Morton and, despite his great size, threw him effortlessly towards the same entry door the crowd had just gathered in from! He flew off the porch with a scream and landed in the mud. The party was in full swing now.

"I wanna have a Kiki! Lock the doors, tight!" Wendy and Elliot sang in unison. Then Elliot slammed the great oak doors shut and locked them, locking poor old Uncle Morton out in the rain and the mud.

Keven had become quite confused by all of this commotion going on. He knew it was a party, that was obvious, but this word Elliot and Wendy were using just threw him off. "Hey buddy," he said sheepishly, tapping Elliot on the shoulder, "what's a 'Kiki'?" Elliot smiled at his friend and sat him down on the couch next to him. He then whispered into his ear, "A kiki is a party, for calming all your nerves. We're spilling tea, and dishing just desserts one may deserve. And though the sun is rising, few may choose to leave... So shade that lid and we'll all bid adieu to your ennui!" Elliot then hauled Keven back up with him and they started dancing to the music. As the evening progressed, the party seemed to get larger and larger, the music louder and louder.
As this progressed, Uncle Morton, outside shivering in the rain and cold this whole time, had been looking over his house trying to see if there were anyway to get inside and break up this insane convention. It was then he remembered the broken lock on the arch window in the Great Hall. Elliot had pointed it out to him not too many days before, saying it was a safety hazard should the kids ever be alone in the house. Luckily, he hadn't gotten around to fixing it yet. He carefully opened one of the larger of the four windows, began to climb inside, and realized half way in that despite the windows height, he was MUCH heftier than the windows width. His great stomach had wedged him in the window, one half of him inside and the other half out in the cold night air.
It was at this moment that Zelda and Linc had been doing their version of a tango over near the window. When Linc dipped Zelda, she screamed out at the sight of her uncle. Well, being in an upside down position, she thought at first he might have been a burglar or something. Linc looked down at Zelda asking her what was wrong, and when she pointed towards the window, his face contorted into a look of terror. Here was Zelda's enormous uncle in the window, looking angrier than Linc had ever seen him. "When I get in here all the way," he began, trying to keep up the element of surprise, "all of you kids are SO GROUNDED!!!" His sudden outburst made the party instantly stop; the records screeching to a halt, party go-ers mouths dropped in fright, and Wendy stood there looking very embarrassed.

The party broke up, everyone saying their goodbyes after a very long and enjoyable evening. The kids all tried getting poor Uncle Morton unwedged from the window while Elliot and Wendy were on clean-up patrol. All the while, Uncle Morton, in between grunts of pain from being yanked from his perch, was hollering at the two "conspirators". "And you will never be allowed out again, and there will be no more parties here, understand?! And I'll be fixing this window tomorrow as well as putting bars and locks on every door and window so this kind of thing doesn't happen again! The kids could have been hurt or worse! You were supposed to look after them for me!" He screamed on and on, until finally, with a slight tearing sound made by his jacket, the kids succeeded in freeing him from the window. He pulled himself back together, after apologizing to the kids for accidentally landing on them, and seemed to be a great deal calmer than before. "So, why do we have these rules in place?" he asked. "So that no one gets injured [or stuck in windows]" Elliot and Wendy answered in unison. "Should I have pity on you just because you were bored this evening and proceeded to have a wild party behind my back?" he asked, his deep voice extremely calm. "No, sir." Wendy and Elliot said. "Then you will both understand why you will both be on chore duty for the next month, and you can start by fixing that window...and maybe widening it a bit for me should this ever happen again." He smiled and blushed as he said that last bit. Wendy and Elliot laughed nervously a bit to themselves.

Uncle Morton's not a bad guy or anything. He just runs his house the way any good father would: strictly but fairly. He still laughs every now and then thinking back on that night and also marvels at how ingenious the kids plan was. They KNEW he'd be home at a certain time that night, and managed to catch him entirely off guard and throw him out of his own house. It was an almost perfect plan...almost. They swore next time they'd check ALL the windows though.


--This is just a little funny thing I've had tumbling in my head recently and thought I'd draw it up and share it. Wasn't going for accuracy, so nothing looks good in the picture. Just wanted to do this for fun. If you can't tell who the people are in the picture, boy and girl getting dipped is Linc and Zelda, and the shadows are Keven and Elliot, Marc, and Wendy. Uncle Morton is obviously the poor guy stuck in the window there. This came from me listening to the Scissor Sister's song "Let's Have A Kiki" non-stop for the past several days haha Just thought it'd be a funny idea.
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:iconbtomimatsu:
btomimatsu Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I just want to take a pen to that picture and write "le busted" towards link. :XD:
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:iconebraunstein:
EBraunstein Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lol He's not so much mad at Linc as he is mad at EVERYONE in the house right at that moment lol I mean, think about it: here ya have this 7' tall 440 lb giant of a man who was just overtaken by a bunch of kids and tossed out of his own house, only to have to try and crawl back inside via the window then get lodged in it thanks to said 440 lbs of weight haha
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:iconbtomimatsu:
btomimatsu Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Just use butter and he will slip right out. :XD:
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:iconebraunstein:
EBraunstein Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
It took Linc, Zelda, Garry, Catherine and Keven to finally pull him out, and all the while he was howling away in pain and screaming at Wendy and Elliot lol I don't think they ever considered butter...
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:iconbtomimatsu:
btomimatsu Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
lubricant. Always. :XD:
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:iconebraunstein:
EBraunstein Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
haha Felt bad seeing him stuck in the window though haha Him and all his chubbiness hahaha I told him it made me think of Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree haha That or Augustus Gloop stuck in the pipe. ("He's stuck in the pipe there, isn't he Wonka? It's his stomach that's done that!" -Veruca Salt's Dad from the 1971 version lol)
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:iconbtomimatsu:
btomimatsu Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I can imagine that. :)
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:iconebraunstein:
EBraunstein Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Like I said, he's 7' tall, and then some perhaps, and weighs 440lbs. It doesn't shock me at all that he got stuck lol
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